Getting Myself Back into Self-Leadership

Getting Myself Back into Self-Leadership

Here at Leading Edge Teams (LET), like Annie and the rest of our team, I spend a lot of time teaching entrepreneurs and teams strategies that help them to make decisions that will provide the best outcomes and drive their business success. It’s what I love to do—it’s rewarding to witness individuals and teams succeed and bring their most amazing selves forward. 

AND, we are all human. If it were always easy, I wouldn’t be here teaching you everything we know that helps you stay on track!

In order to be your best, you have to be in Self-Leadership. It’s the first step and the basis for everything that follows. If you aren’t acting from a place of centeredness and Self-Leadership, chances are you’re making decisions from self-protection rather than from the most empowered place possible. And, like I said, we are all human, so chances are you’ve reacted rather than taken the time to pause and let any desire to make a knee-jerk reaction subside. 

Likely, you’ve made a decision (or many) that you regret. I know I have (I’m also very human!). 

I can remember a few times (in my professional and personal life) when I wish I’d been able to get out of a reactive state to better assess what was true and what was just my own self-protection—I could have saved myself, and those involved, a lot less heartache and stress. If I had known to pause and give myself time to think about the facts involved, I would have been able to get back to a more neutral, aligned state that allowed me to communicate with a calm and clear perspective. 

But, I am human and I am hardwired (as we all are) to react in fight / flight / freeze / please mode when triggered and unsafe. This reaction is designed to keep us protected from tigers and other dangers that require us to act fast. The problem with this automatic human reaction in modern times and in business is that it is rarely a life or death situation. For each of us to make a clear decision, we are required to pause and regulate our nervous systems as best we can in the moment. From experience, I know that it is not always an easy task, but it is necessary.

In essence, I get to practice what we preach here at LET. Although our teachings are tailored towards business results, they apply to everything in life, because we need these tools when interacting with any human in any situation (and, boy do I wish I’d had these tools when I was younger!).

The key for you, for me, for ALL of us is to recognize when we are in self-protection and to do whatever it takes to get out of it (with loads of self-compassion) and back into Self-Leadership. 

So rather than providing you with a list of things that you can do that you may or may not try, I’m giving you a list of things that I have done. These have worked for me at least one or more times to help me enact the power of the pause:

  • Taking a full day off to do nothing—no input, no work or phone notifications, just the joy of sleeping in and only taking care of myself (and the furbabies). This form of rest and unplugging allows me to reset and recharge fully, enabling me to return to the problem with a fresh set of eyes.
  • State in the moment (if possible in the situation) what I need—a quick break; to talk through the triggers; to table this until tomorrow; reassurance that this can be worked through.
  • Hop in my car with some good music, windows open and drive down to Point Magu beach to enjoy the ocean breeze and view. There’s nothing like nature to help me let go of any stress and completely recharge.
  • Connect with a trusted colleague or friend to process my emotions so I can get to the other side and out of self-protection. Just having someone hold space for me while I talk about everything that feels super intense is extremely supportive and reassuring.
  • A good night’s sleep. It’s simple and sometimes all that is needed. AND, it does wonders to refresh my view of the world to get up and try again.
  • A long walk with my dog and / or a good friend helps me release any negativity by getting out of my head through exercising my body and breathing fresh air.
  • And last but not least—I love to curl up on the couch with my pets to watch a fun and relaxing movie or TV show. It’s cozy, and getting lost in another storyline that isn’t mine helps me reset and unwind.

Once I’ve had time to get myself to a calmer, less reactive state, then (and only then) am I able to begin addressing the problem at hand. Sometimes, getting out of self-protection is quick and only a minor pain and other times, it’s longer, because the issue and trigger are ongoing. There may be many layers to process and work through (and likely I have done several of the activities listed above to get myself out of emotional reactivity and self-protection).

I’m sharing this with you, because you (me and everyone) will continue to experience people and situations that cause us to feel self-protective and that’s okay—it’s more than okay. It’s part of being human. 

And, if you don’t already have it pinned to your wall or computer screen, download our CCORE Process here. It’ll help remind you of what steps to take to get you back to your thinking brain so your emotions aren’t pulling you in every direction trying to run the show (and a reminder / a word: your emotions, especially negative emotions, are an indication to pay attention to what is happening. They are meant to be a compass to point you in the right direction of what is off course and most needs to be addressed).

Show the world who you are through your positive demonstration of Self-Leadership—start today! I know you can do this! 

 

Here’s to your most empowered success!

Heather

Program Director and Executive Coach

 

For a personal introduction to our coaching and methods, check out our series of leadership journals on Amazon.com:   

Ace in the Hole

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #2

Power of Agreement

What A+ Leaders do differently to generate extraordinary results.

 

 

Ahead of the Curve Self-Leadership journal

Ahead of the Curve

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #1

How to be a thriving ‘A+’  Leader in the fast paced,

ever-changing landscape of business today.

 

 

Speaking My Music: The “Meeting Agenda Revelation”

Speaking My Music: The “Meeting Agenda Revelation”

Business coaching is my passion, and the people I coach are important to me. Consequently, on any given day when a client and their team reap concrete rewards in their workday, because of something I taught them yesterday—it absolutely makes my day.  

They are truly speaking my music when they tell me they are seeing the benefits in their business processes and leadership style and choices. Growth and transition are experienced in varying degrees and more quickly with some companies/teams than others, as was the case when I had a recent zoom call with the COO and CEO of a company I work with and coach. 

Of course, it’s all well and good for clients to take notes on what I teach and accept that they need change and new learning around specific areas of their business, but they reach a whole new level as business leaders when they begin to apply the methods I teach at Leading Edge Teams. It’s a highlight for me (and for them) when they come to our next coaching session with proven results. 

These particular clients are learning how to create, use, and rely on our training around the MEETING AGENDA tool. Immediately, they experienced some good changes in their business, which in turn are invaluable for achieving the greatest business outcomes. It might be a bit dramatic to say it’s “life-saving,” but clients learn as we work together, the methods that save them time and help to make their business more efficient often feel that way—new tools and skills ”calm the choppy waters” for them personally and professionally.    

The meeting agenda is rather simple, but a specific tool that has been a revelation for them, as one primary change has been implemented. 

So, what are they doing? 

The COO is saving herself and the team, time and frustration as she commits to quickly assess issues that are brought to her attention each day by using two criteria: 

a) Decide whether it’s “house on fire” and must be dealt with right now, today. 

b) Decide to put it on the agenda to deal with at the next weekly meeting, to collectively discuss, problem-solve and decide, or provide an answer.

As she consistently communicates (and turns it into habit), those two criteria keep her informed and responsive to the team’s needs, and eliminate confusion and unnecessary messaging. The team knows to expect that as COO, she will take action and deal with it now, or she will put it on the weekly meeting agenda to address at that time (when the company brings in the team to collectively think and make decisions together to achieve business results).

The benefit for the COO is that the team doesn’t hesitate to communicate concerns or questions, because they know it will get her attention within a reasonable amount of time that day. And with the COO’s new skill of assessing (the issue, question or decision needed), and by prioritizing when to deal with it, she has a reliable place to hand-off for dealing with it later. Obviously, this helps to limit the things that cause long hours and daily overload, something all business entrepreneurs and teams need to keep in check.

This uncomplicated skill is a relief for business leaders: If it isn’t a “house on fire” issue, it’s put on the meeting agenda, confident it won’t be forgotten, nor will it cause them to wake up at night in a panic. It’s effectively let go of, for that moment, reducing feelings of overwhelm and stress. 

This is just one example of how you can make the most of your meeting agenda. Let it help you prioritize your daily “stuff” that comes up this week. I invite you to give it a try.    

And… to achieve efficient, productive meetings, follow this agenda structure. It will set you up for success! (Remember to distribute your meeting agenda ahead of time, so those attending can prepare.)

  1. First on your agenda: Quickly talk about the outcomes that were achieved, the important deadlines coming up, then surface the things that are off-track, along with a quick mention of the things to be addressed that were added to the agenda during the week.
  2. Next, problem solve, especially those things just mentioned as off-track or needing to be addressed. Surface and discuss other challenges and obstacles that may get in the way or prevent your team/company from achieving their goals.
  3. Next on the agenda is “major or cross-functional decision-making,” or more specifically, the kind of decision making that needs more than one person’s input to understand impacts that will or could happen, so that the team involved can all be informed and on the same page to discuss or work through those as they move forward. 

(Note that problem solving (#2) and major decision making (#3) are crucial for a good meeting, so plan on them taking up 65 to 70 percent of your meeting time.) 

  1. This next agenda item is super important but often forgotten: recap the meeting and confirm decisions. Don’t miss this step, or there can be confusion about what was talked about vs. what was decided, leading a team member to take the wrong action or assume someone else has the ball. So, in this step go back and confirm the decisions that came out of the problem-solving in the meeting. Also note what questions were not answered and when they will be addressed.
  2. Now, “clarify next steps and upcoming actions.” This is where those in the meeting say out loud, one by one, what their next actions will be, to confirm that everyone involved clearly understands their parts and that the team is aligned in those actions. Any discrepancies? Make corrections. 
  3. Next on your agenda. “Align communication and coordination” for execution outside the meeting. This step is critical, because it’s how decisions made INSIDE the meeting get shared and communicated clearly with the people OUTSIDE the meeting. 
  4. Now, the very last step in your team meeting agenda is to evaluate whether the meeting itself was effective. Ask “How was this meeting?” Welcome brief feedback. If it’s all positive, smile and be glad. If improvement is needed, make changes next time. And lastly, share appreciation for each other; point out the positives!   

I encourage you to remember that your meeting agenda serves many purposes. It helps keep you all connected, and it keeps you afloat during the week and directs the course until the next meeting. Utilize your agenda this way and I bet you’ll see, you have way less “house on fire” experiences in your work day.  

Thank you for reading and learning along with me. When you make the most of any tip I share, just know you’re speaking my music! 

Barbara

Questions? I welcome you to ask me below.  

 

For a personal introduction to our coaching and methods, check out our series of leadership journals on Amazon.com:   

Ace in the Hole

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #2

Power of Agreement

What A+ Leaders do differently to generate extraordinary results.

 

 

Ahead of the Curve Self-Leadership journal

Ahead of the Curve

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #1

How to be a thriving ‘A+’  Leader in the fast paced,

ever-changing landscape of business today.

 

 

IT’S YOUR BUSINESS! LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE: ENDURANCE RETURNS

IT’S YOUR BUSINESS! LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE: ENDURANCE RETURNS

“Know you will make mistakes and have failure points along the way, but keep your head up, forgive yourself fast, and keep moving forward. Progress, not perfection.” (Teresa Royer)

This opening quote really hits home during a long year that has had everyone wound tight—and has left humans more stressed than most of us care to admit. 

So, how are you doing, professionally and personally? Struggling? Surviving? Thriving?

All of us at Leading Edge Teams want to know. We definitely relate to the ups and downs you may be experiencing. We coach entrepreneurs and their teams, and like everyone, we make adjustments within our own company. We know people have faced many changes and challenges these past months.  

I recently met a longtime colleague and friend, Nikki, for coffee. I’ve always admired her, because she has an active family life and is an owner/operator of a growing business, and frankly, always seems to have her act together. 

I walked into the cafe where we were meeting, and at first glance I could see the strain on her face. Her usual calm presence was silently screaming, I’m on edge and near meltdown!

After one sip of coffee, she blurted out, “I’m so glad to see you, because now I can be me—and quit pretending everything is okay! I’m feeling overwhelmed from the chaos. There’s no getting away from it—I’m so exhausted, I can’t hide that I’m not. So… the truth is—I’m a mess…” 

And as she continued to talk, tears began to slowly drip down her cheeks. Her usual leadership and confidence was no place to be seen. I felt for her, and wanted to support and help her. I listened… 

Blowing her nose, she spoke between sniffles, “The glitch this week… It took me forever to get my porcelain finish quite the right color; and now the manufacturer is short-staffed and running late. I can’t launch the line next month as promised. I’m going to let down my customers.” 

I responded with “I’m so sorry,” then encouraged her to tell me more…

Like me, I’m sure you’ve been overwhelmed and disappointed more than once in business and personal life. After the fact, we often think to ourselves: That was so hard, but I am stronger now; I feel some relief, and renewed emotional endurance. I can help myself if I accept what happened and keep putting my energy into today, right now!

I wanted to encourage Nikki to let go of all that had gone wrong yesterday, so it didn’t exhaust her and drag her down today. And just as draining for her were her fears about tomorrow; the late product launch. She had been up at night tossing and turning, and it had added to the emotional and physical exhaustion she was experiencing.

I did share with Nikki about trying to live in today, this very moment. For most of us, it has to be a conscious choice. By doing so, I knew she would have greater endurance for showing up strong, as she began to tackle each new goal with courage. It would be uncomfortable after this setback, and that’s okay. 

I was glad we were able to meet; she seemed encouraged. For all of us, choosing to connect with people, and not isolating, is important. She was able to talk about her worst and her best, and not hide it. I could see she felt some relief. Perspective was returning. It helped me, too, to hear what she was dealing with—a reminder that I wasn’t alone in “my stuff.” 

We talked more about her team, and if she was utilizing them to do their part. She hired good people, so she delegates to the correct people, and she does trust them to do their job. That’s a plus. Also, she chose to anticipate—Nikki had clear direction, even though she said she was a mess. She knew what she was working towards, and the business outcome that she expected. 

Over the years, I had seen her level of excellence and leadership. She chose to model Self-Leadership by self-regulating. That’s why she needed to let herself fall apart with me; she hadn’t wanted to show that side to her team to protect them from feeling any unnecessary, added pressure.

It’s cleansing to let it all out in a safe place, with a safe person. It can help any one of us from reacting in self-protective behaviors that hinder progress and teamwork.

After a couple of hours together, Nikki left. Smiling, she promised that she was going to spend the rest of that afternoon choosing to pause her business concerns, and focus on self-care. Walking to my car, I smiled too, because I realized I needed to do the same!  

Need endurance? You might PAUSE today and try the following: 

  • Take a break from your desk 
  • Walk around the block 
  • Take a few deep breaths and a timeout 
  • Take your dog for a walk  
  • Count to ten; drink some water or tea 
  • Take an exercise break  
  • Dance or sing it out 

First and foremost, keep going, you’re going to get there. I have to tell you, more than likely, you are doing better than you know!   

Even so, we know that 2021 continues to cause change and challenge in your business as well as your personal life—so don’t be too hard on yourself. (Check out this blog post that’s all about self-compassion as a business leader)

A great majority of people in business (and otherwise) admit to needing professional support and help with decisions and direction right now, because they’re feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically worn down—and that’s okay.

Here are some things to take note of and avoid as you strive to lead your team and progress in your business: 

  • Isolation / hiding
  • Lack of giving or receiving honest feedback
  • Old habits of self-protection and emotionally reactive behaviors
  • Limited self-awareness about situations and people in the workplace
  • A shortage of leadership skills that build working relationships (relying instead on the worn out model of top-down authority that decreases mutual working relationships)
  • Ineffective leadership direction and goals that restrict people’s ability to move through challenges and change (e.g. poor communication, interactions and teamwork, and action-based vision).     

Since you are reading this, we are confident you are one who is making the most of today, and choosing to focus on strengthening yourself, as you gain skills and strategies for endurance. You will not give up, and you will keep driving forward. Such an attitude demonstrates excellent leadership and perseverance. 

Productive and satisfying work days are what you want, and we want for you, so if you don’t feel you’re experiencing enough of those kinds of days right now, and are falling into self-protection more than you like, let us offer you our help. 

Contact us anytime. We’ll chat.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. You’ve come this far, so keep going. Others on your team (and at home) are watching how you make the shifts. Your willingness to change and make consistent and renewed effort models leadership—and endurance! 

Keep showing up strong!   

Annie and the Leading Edge Team

 

For a personal introduction to our coaching and methods, check out our series of leadership journals on Amazon.com:   

Ace in the Hole

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #2

Power of Agreement

What A+ Leaders do differently to generate extraordinary results.

 

 

Ahead of the Curve Self-Leadership journal

Ahead of the Curve

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #1

How to be a thriving ‘A+’  Leader in the fast paced,

ever-changing landscape of business today.

 

 

Know Your Triggers to Uplevel Your Performance

Know Your Triggers to Uplevel Your Performance

Every day, and in every challenging work situation, YOU have a choice in how to respond. Yes, you do—even on the days that leave you feeling exhausted and on edge, feeling like you’ve been driving for hours in a bumper car rink. On the days where other people’s words and actions seem to force you to have an equal and opposite reaction—you can still choose to not immediately react in ways that ramp up emotions and add fire to frustrating situations.  

Those days especiallypause and take time to think. Raise your awareness about the innate things within you that stir your reactions and threaten to trip you up: 1) Your self-protective hard-wiring—fight, flight, freeze, please—which do you revert to most often? 2) conditioned reactions learned from childhood 3) habits formed throughout your lifetime from life and work experiences. 

Awareness is the first step to making any lasting change. Learn to recognize your triggers, because emotional reactivity blocks your ability to make a positive difference and inhibits your job performance. Develop the ability to interrupt your emotional reactions before they drive your decisions and actions. Emotional endurance increases when you recognize your triggers (events, people, places, things, thoughts)—and choose not to react to those common triggers.

In business, this demonstrates self-leadership, it speaks volumes. The ability to interact positively with your team when under stress and pressure makes you a leader that others want to work with (and inspires them to bring their ‘A’ game). 

This does not mean things go perfectly, or that you have to be perfect. Perfection is not the goal. And waiting for, or expecting perfection will set you up to feel frustrated and fall short, creating unwanted reactions. Instead, remember the goal is “Self-Compassion and Progress” as you strive to strengthen your self-leadership by gaining awareness about triggers. 

No matter what, in all things, remember that your response is 90 percent of the solution. Business (and life) require you to adapt, negotiate, change, overcome, persist, let go—and grow! If you don’t, it is severely limiting for yourself and to company outcomes—even show-stopping!

Along with types of people/personalities, make note of other situations in the workplace that are triggers that tend to cause you to fall into an automatic self-protective mindset or behavior. 

Common ones are (Rate each 1 to 5, with 5 being greatest):   

  • Work overload or culture
  • Job dissatisfaction or insecurity
  • Continuous change (internally and externally)
  • Human conflict (with CEO, manager, team member, external customers)
  • A demanding, competitive work environment, not a collaborative one (not feeling psychologically safe).      

In spite of these, the world keeps moving forward. You know business productivity is a must, even as workplace conflicts occur and personal life happens! You’re human, so you already know the stuff that swirls around and within you influences how you react professionally—and vice versa. 

That said, triggers do happen. They stem from a genuinely perceived threat. So, have compassion for yourself and others when quick reactions blow away your best intentions in the workplace. As all people know, business is often challenging, and it can cause you to go into autopilot, and human self-protection. This throws your brain, the amygdala specifically, into an automatic reaction of fight or flight, please or freeze. 

Notice how self-protection surfaces in you: emotions like fear, tension, anger, panic, resentment (list your own self-protective emotions). These emotions, coupled with striving for PERFECTION traps you in insecurity, anxiety and unhappiness (again add how you feel), and are detrimental to your progress and job satisfaction.   

Whatever your position and role in a business, self-protection creates defeating combinations for humans who want to collaborate as a team—and it is magnified when you choose to focus on what’s wrong, not right—and sets you up to be in opposition with others.  

Flip the script in your head, and claim the benefits of self-compassion. That concept may sound like fluff to you, but it is backed up by hard data. So go easy on yourself. Take a deep breath, and be willing to learn and try again. And remember, it’s likely others on your team have felt as you do at one time or another. You are not alone in emotional reactions that hinder you!  

You grow as a business leader when you begin to recognize the self-protection triggers, and learn skills to keep them in check. Accepting what you must choose, change, or further develop within yourself is a key component of progressing consistently toward your career and business goals. 

Lastly, consider the following to raise your awareness: “What one situation or person is tripping your trigger, prompting you to react in self-protective ways?” Next, “Why does it matter?” Then finally ask, “Is there anything I can do differently to achieve a different outcome?” 

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO TO PREVENT TRIGGERS AND SELF-PROTECTION?           

  1. ACCEPT SELF-CARE IS NOT AN INDULGENCE. IT’S A NECESSITY. Make time for it.                                                                                                                         
  2. CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE THE IMPACT YOU WANT TO MAKE. (Plan ahead.)
  3. MASTER THE POWER OF THE PAUSE. (Self-protective emotional, reactive feelings tend to resolve when given time and space.) 
  4. RAISE YOUR AWARENESS ABOUT THINGS THAT TRIGGER YOUR SELF-PROTECTION. Jot down the ones you recognize. (Master the pause and practice our CcORE Process: Clarify, Choose, Observe, Release, Engage)
  5. JOT DOWN YOUR ANCHORS (Hold to what you value and show up secure in yourself.)
  6. OBSERVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (Avoid: “I should be doing better,”  “I messed up.” Avoid self-judgements: right, wrong, good, bad). 
  7. BEWARE OF WRITTEN, FAST-MOVING COMMUNICATIONS (Take time to pause and think, then respond.)
  8. CREATE RECOVERY PLAN FOR WHEN YOU GET STUCK. (One example is: Do you say “yes” when you mean “no?” Under pressure? Choose to pause. Buy some time to think things through before you commit or renegotiate.) 

Again, go easy on yourself, self-leadership is an evolution. You are doing better than you know. Take a deep breath. With a new awareness of your triggers, you are set up for even greater success. Well done! Don’t hesitate to contact us if needed.

Let us hear from you. Share in the comments below. What is your take away?

Annie and the Leading Edge Team

 

For a personal introduction to our coaching and methods, check out our series of leadership journals on Amazon.com:   

 

Ace in the Hole

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #2

Power of Agreement

What A+ Leaders do differently to generate extraordinary results.

 

 

Ahead of the Curve Self-Leadership journal

Ahead of the Curve

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #1

How to be a thriving ‘A+’  Leader in the fast paced,

ever-changing landscape of business today.

 

 

THEME OF SELF-COMPASSION and PROGRESS as a Business Leader

THEME OF SELF-COMPASSION and PROGRESS as a Business Leader

YOUR GOAL as a Business Leader? Focus on Progress, NOT Perfection

In your entrepreneurial business, do the pressures, projects, or people, often leave you feeling fear-ridden, stressed-out, imperfect and exhausted? Honestly, we’ve all been there, right? (Emotions of self-protection emerge: fear, failure, regret, shame, anger, anxiety, etc.) 

I know I have been there more times than I care to admit.

However, you may be one who is stuck in a “be perfect” cycle, and you judge yourself too harshly when you fall short of the ideal mark you’ve set. 

Did you know that unrealistic expectations and behaviors frequently block business progress? They are more exhausting and time-consuming than trying again, learning something new, or redoing the work altogether. 

Seeking to always be extraordinary, and not accepting anything less of yourself self-sabotages new learning and development. There’s no space for achievement and satisfaction in your work when emotional, mental, and physical energy is zapped by repeated self-criticism. 

Are you aware that you are one who is stuck in a perfectionistic mindset?  

If so, this causes you to stress over what you don’t achieve, blinding you to what you do really well. Ruminating where you fall short takes up time and space; it consumes mental and emotional space that could be used productively. 

CHANGE moments of self-criticism and judgement by learning to

PAUSE rather than allowing a knee-jerk reaction.

BREATHE (conscious, deep breathing)

This allows time to CHOOSE how you respond (towards yourself and others).

UNDERSTAND where you end and others begin. Don’t over function! Work as a team, and trust other people to take responsibility for their roles and the part they play. Own yours; allow others to do the same.    

ANCHOR thoughts and actions to how you want to show up, participate and lead; anchors are based on your business goals, priorities, purpose, and personal values.

Keep your sights on big BUSINESS GOALS, and allow them to pull you forward to successful outcomes and a productive future.

When you learn to accept your short-falls and simultaneously acknowledge your progress, you’ve opened the door to greater self-leadership and job contentment.    

Increase your awareness about the perfection mindset that consumes both mind and body with uncomfortable, unsettled, even frantic emotions. Similar to a panic stricken seal fleeing from an orca whale—humans in this state seek a solid place to land, to escape, and feel safe. 

But imagine the opposite; those moments in time when a seal can just go with the flow, ride on top of the waves, confidently relaxing in the ever-changing ocean currents—satisfied and safe. 

If the frantic seal scenario sounds all too familiar, extend COMPASSION to yourself (e.g. kindness, grace, patience, etc.). Silence self-talk that says, “I should be better,” “If only I was more organized,” and stop yourself when you say, “I should have… or could have… or would have…!” They are red flags of worn out perfectionistic thinking patterns. 

Take what Brene Brown says to heart, “Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” 

The fact is, you (and me) are human and not perfect. Read that twice! 

Give yourself a break and have more realistic expectations. Think about how Webster defines PERFECTION: freedom from fault or defect; flawlessness, state of being saintly; an unsurpassable degree of accuracy. Seriously, who meets those standards even most of the time? Certainly not me, nor you! 

For over-thinking humans, with a myriad of life experiences that form habits, reactions and mindsets, it takes awareness and commitment to begin to change the built-in self-protection that does not serve you well in business (or personally). Know the triggers that leave you feeling like you’re swimming for your life. Blog coming soon… “Know Your Triggers to Uplevel Your Performance”

Don’t beat yourself up for not being “perfect.” Instead, focus on the personal progress you are making against the limiting, ingrained, self-protective behaviors that previously made you anxious or nixed communications and workplace effectiveness. 

Flip the script inside your head. Make new choices that help you successfully navigate through your workday and life—differently! If you make a mistake, or feel you fall short, ask, “What can I learn from this?” Extend compassion to yourself.  

It’s been said, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear of making a mistake, looking foolish or feeling embarrassed. It’s a fear of not living up to others expectations—fear of failure, and sometimes even fear of success.

The learning from all this is to strive to recognize and avoid behaviors that are the result of a hard-wired adrenaline rush of self-protection (fight or flight, please or freeze)—and emotionally reactive behaviors that dominate and hinder you, both professionally and personally. 

Awareness is the first step. As you move forward, consistently become the person and business leader who relies on well thought-out business choices, belief in personal development, realistic expectations, and workable solutions.  

Now, with discipline and trust in yourself, where it’s needed, step out and learn how to do differently. With it comes greater compassion for yourself and others, and this definitely increases your effectiveness as a business leader. 

Remember, go for personal progress—not perfection!

Annie and the Leading Edge Team

 

For a personal introduction to our coaching and methods, check out our series of leadership journals on Amazon.com:   

 

Ace in the Hole

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #2

Power of Agreement

What A+ Leaders do differently to generate extraordinary results.

 

 

Ahead of the Curve Self-Leadership journal

Ahead of the Curve

30-Day Self-Leadership Journal #1

How to be a thriving ‘A+’  Leader in the fast paced,

ever-changing landscape of business today.

 

 

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